Artistic Footprint

Not everyone can be Chuck Norris and have no fear. We’ve all got little secrets that keep us awake at night, peering through a crack in the covers into the shadows  of the closet, hoping that something on your list doesn’t come dancing out at you. These are a few things in my scaredy-closet.

1. Giant Spiders
2. Clowns
3. Fridge Magnets
4. Old Microwaves
5. The Golden Age
6. Capitalism
7. The Great White Shark
8. Ostriches
9. Ignorance
10. Horror Movies
11. Scientologists
12. The Guy from Spence Diamonds
13. Global Warming
14. World War Three
15. Republicans
16. Jared from Subway
17. Getting Peanut Butter stuck to the Top of my Mouth
18. The Quaker Oat Man
19. Eating Too Many Crackers and not being Able to Keep up
20. Aboriginal Boobies
21. RRSPs
22. Menonites
23. Pancake Nipples
24. Getting stabbed in the eye
25. Burrs
26. Christmas sweaters
27. Accellerating in a Ford
28. Hiccuping and burping at the same time
29. Popeye
30. People who don’t drink
31. Outhouses
32. Babies
33. Armadillos
34. Kidney Stones
35. Unicyclists
36. Umbrellas
37. Mary Poppins
38. Kids who pee in pools
39. Hippopatamuses
40. Taxidermy
41. People named Wilbur
42. Nightmares about cheese
43. Giant carnivorous plants
44. Carnies
45. Anyone who sports the confederate flag
46. Light switches outside of bathrooms
47. Bed and breakfasts
48. Malls
49. The girl in the red dress
50. Fake plants
51. Dick tracy
52. Stumbling upon someone else taking a shit (happened exactly three time to me)
53. Crumbs in margarine
54. Heat lamps
55. Cushy toilet seats
56. Jehovas witnesses