1000 Awesome Things
by Dahmer on Dec.15, 2009, under A Thousand Things
So I decided to counterract the comical pessimism (or Juvenalian satire for you linguists) with this here List of 1000 Awesome Things.
I must admit that I feel quite uncomfortable with this conformity to the norm, but know this: the interesting thing I noticed in writing the Shitty things and Awesome things is that I was happy doing both. I laughed to myself as I noticed the bad as well as the good, and in doing so it seemed important to verbalize each point to recognize it’s importance.
Without further ado, here it is (in no particular order):
- Getting drunk before a flight.
- Having a beer in the shower.
- Beer in general.
- Popping bubble wrap.
- Killing a pesky bug.
- Waking up in a pool of drool.
- Snowboarding.
- Sex.
- Lucid Dreams.
- Hanging out with people that let you be yourself.
- Big Dumps (powder snow)
- Lying in a heap of clothes that just came out of the dryer.
- Hammering nails into wood.
- The smell of cedar.
- Thunderstorms
- Heavy Rain
- Campfires.
- Thai Food.
- Mountaintops.
- Ice cold water when you’re really thirsty.
- Jumping into water at the perfect temperature.
- Going over hills really fast.
- Being on a flight and having 3 seats to yourself (only happened to me once)
- Really good fucking guitar solos.
- Flying in little airplanes.
- Being so fucking happy that you feel giddy inside.
- The tired and tingly feeling you get after a long hard day of work.
- Breaking conversation to listen to a good part of a song.
- Chuck Norris.
- drinking and painting.
- When you know someone loves you but they never say it.
- When you know your life will never fail because a good friend won’t let that happen.
- The feel of a PINT glass in your hand.
- Lesbians.
- Watchin the game and drinkin Beers.
- Having a skilled Wingman.
- Waking up in the morning beside a REALLY awesome chick.
- Taking a sick day.
- Watching everyone else go to work while you are out having fun.
- Intimidating high school bratty kids.
- Pipe Cleaners.
- Windchimes.
- Dogs.
- Sex in the morning.
- A self-induced, spontaneous laugh.
- Hockey Night in Canada.
- Ted.com.
- Picking out a Huge Booger.
- Egg Nog.
- Pull through parking spots.
- Farting when no one else is around.
- The feel of a cold beer on ice in your hand.
- Working on your car or anything mechanical.
- Snow.
- Catching someone picking their nose.
- Moustaches
- Turning up the volume on Van Halen.
- Top Gun.
- Huge unnecessary explosions in action movies.
- Getting mail you actually want!
- Cars with character.
- Sex in hotel rooms.
- Parties in hotel rooms.
- Hour showers in hotel rooms.
- Any hot tub in a mountain village.
- Being an English speaking white male.
- Being in the fucking zone.
- Crazy drunken stories.
- Fulfilling a stereotype that you do not posess.
- Beer from the east.
- Porn (including snowboard, biking, and surfing videos)
- Being drunk enough to beat any fucker at pool.
- Rebecca Romain Stamos.
- Kate Bosworth
- Kate Beckinsale.
- Rachel McAdams.
- Getting that picture that you know no-one else can get.
- Street meet and pizza.
- Shredding the Gnar.
- Beer and Steak.
- Massages.
- Chicks that shred.
- Watching people walk home with bags of shit tickets under their arms.
- Drunken Irish dancing with friends.
- Leashless dog parks.
- Warm Cookies.
- Garlic.
- Scaring little children.
- Hockey highlights.
- Closing out a bar.
- Fresh baked bread.
- Having a trusty steed.
- Laughing till you cry.
- 24s of bottled buck-a-beer.
- Buying Beer in Ontario.
- Surf n’ Turf.
- Mullets.
- Women with Mullets.
- Bob and Doug Mackenzie.
- Fresh Asphalt.
- Bacon.
- Spooning.
- Thwarting Someone’s evil Scheme.
- Being on the Fucking Ball.
- Switching from stinky board boots to cool, fresh skateshoes.
- Shooting the moon in hearts.
- Samuel Jackson, Bruce Willis, and Bennicio Del Torro.
- Shorthanded goals.
- Tumbleweeds.
- Scars.
- Calling in sick the day after st, Paddy’s day.
- Cooking a chicken with a beer can shoved up its ass.
- Getting paid to shit, eat, or sleep.
- Drive-in Movie theatres.
- Wiping snot on the thumb of your glove.
- Peanut butter and Chocolate.
- Watching birds walk.
- Cans of beer that say 8 pack right on the rim.
- Sleeping in the sun with your hat over your face.
- Taking the Stairs.
- Sittin in the back of the bus.
- Chicks that drive jeeps.
- Snatching free wireless.
- Getting in a car through a window.
- The feel of new shoes.
- home-cooked meals from mom.
- A Pile of shoes in the doorway of a really great party.
- Wreck Beach in Vancouver.
- The Royal Tyrell Museum in Drumheller, Ab.
- Having your beer cooled by Mother Earth.
- Pulling into a crowded place as cliche as possible.
- Restaurants that require an intricate procedure to order the best menu item.
- Fireflies.
- Chinese fire drills.
- Muffin tops.
- Skipping school.
- Finding things you’ve been looking for, for a long time.
- glitches in the english language that require you to repeat the last word you wrote (see above)
- Beer league.
- Moomoos.
- Whoopi Cushions.
- Reading through an old birthday card and finding 20 bucks.
- Getting to leave school for any reason including being sick.
- A real successful hand-fart
- Giving a dynamite bum or dutch ovening someone.
- Hairnation rock.
- Being cozy and warm in a cold and wet place.
- Cops that let you off the hook.
- Vengeance.
- Old people that still make out.
- Roadtrips.
- Taking flowers from a first-date’s garden and then pretending you went to the effort of buying them yourself.
- Moms and Grandmas that go to their kids’ gigs.
- Asserting dominance with flatulence.
- TSN top 10
- Red green
- Forts and treehouses
- Skicutting your own avalanche
- Medieval times
- The sound of ice cubes in a glass or a glass filling up
- Anything with bbc and david attenborough
- Driving barefoot
- Kristen bell
- Soundtracks to a massacre
- Resting up after some great first aid
- Watching thunderstorms
- A real pint glass
- Patio lanterns
- Going straight to the front of the line of douchebag tourists at a bar you’re a local at
- Drinking beer while cooking
- Going for ice cream
- Sex in cars
- Hammocks
- Sunroofs
- Trailerpark drama
- Community gardens
- T-tops, muscle cars, el caminos
- Eatin dinner on the front porch
- Climbing trees
- Kool aid
- Barack Obama
- Good old fashioned vandalism
- Steven colbert; if you’re smart enough to not believe anything he says
- Washing puppies
- Ellen page
- Forest service roads
- Holy shit handles
- Evan rachel wood
- Grilled cheese with REAL cheese
- Kick me signs
- Pilly cubes
- Finding a great spot to pop your bottle on a table
- Playin it sandlot style
- Acoustic Guitar in a thunderstorm
What makes YOU feel good?
TSN top 10
Red green
Forts and treehouses
Skicutting your own avalanche
Medieval times
The sound of ice cubes in a glass or a glass filling up
Anything with bbc and david attenborough
Driving barefoot
Kristen bell
Soundtracks to a massacre
Resting up after some great first aid
Watching thunderstorms
A real pint glass
Patio lanterns
Going straight to the front of the line of douchebag tourists at a bar you’re a local at
Drinking beer while cooking
Going for ice cream
Sex in cars
Hammocks
Sunroofs
Trailerpark drama
Community gardens
T-tops, muscle cars, el caminos
Eatin dinner on the front porch
Climbing trees
Kool aid
1 Comment for this entry
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1000 Shitty Things - Artistic Footprint
December 15th, 2009 on 1:22 pm[...] IF this is the exact opposite of what you wanted, you might be able to find my growing list of 1000 awesome things HERE: [...]
February 15th, 2010 on 5:38 am
LOVE this!!